


If it had to be anyone, glad it’s you

by bluejaymorse



Series: fire emblem three houses [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Felix joined the empire, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, and curse words, angst angst angst, blame my friend for requesting this, blood warning, its war, it’s death, there’s death here folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 14:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejaymorse/pseuds/bluejaymorse
Summary: When Felix joined the enemy lines, Sylvain didn’t expect to see him fighting, yet there they stood. Same battlefield, different sides.





	If it had to be anyone, glad it’s you

**Author's Note:**

> Sad Warning i guess  
Also, not Beta’d  
We die Like men

Out of all the things Sylvain expected to come out of this war, fighting his childhood friend to the death didn’t even cross his mind. It has been long since Edelgard declared war on the church and started invading both the Kingdom and the Alliance; he had lost track of how many years it had been. Just like he had lost count of how many faces he recognized on enemy lines, faces of school classmates that he tried to ignore. As he sat atop his horse on top of the paths on the wall, he saw the marching enemy army approaching their fortress. Their banners flew the empire flag, and their soldiers and battalions were being led by Hubert. Sylvain grimaced once he saw him. He was stationed far back, only shouting orders as the other units started getting in position to successfully raid and take over the fortress. 

A flapping of pegasus wings made him look up, Ingrid flew above him, landing besides his horse with grace. She looked ahead to the army, but Sylvain looked at her, worry in her eyes. “I saw him.” her voice was barely audible due to the loudness from inside the fortress. Generals were spouting orders, armor was clashing against itself, some people were clashing swords in a small attempt of training before the actual battle, polishing their skills. Soldiers ran left and right looking for weapons and getting in positions for the ballistae. “He was there, in enemy lines.” Ingrid brought him back to reality, he looked at her instantly. 

“You mean… Felix?” Sylvain looked at his own lance, his hands were shaking. They never shook before a battle, at least, not like this. He had seen Felix. He had been in his position for a rather long time, and as soon as he saw his old friend, he had to make a triple take. He knew his friend had gone to the empire due to the fact that his professor had been there and asked him on the battlefield to join him once more… he never expected he would go straight to fighting his own homeland. “I saw him too.” 

“What are we going to do, Sylvain?” Ingrid looked for his gaze, for some kind of answer from Sylvain. There was none. Sylvain also drew a blank. “I knew we would be fighting familiar faces but… Felix?” 

“I don’t know, Ingrid.” Sylvain looked at her, his attempt at trying to look convinced or bold was betrayed by the look in his eyes. Anguish, nostalgia, sorrow… heartbreak. “I didn’t know he would go straight to fighting as soon as he deflected, but he made his choice.” 

“Listen, I know this must be hard for you, after all, weren’t you two…” her sentence trailed off. She wasn’t sure if bringing that up would make Sylvain lose focus on the hard battle ahead. “Let’s just hope we don’t face him ourselves.” 

“Let’s hope.” Sylvain gave Ingrid one of his award winning fake smiles, which she saw right through. With one quick nod of her head, she flew away and straight to her position. She needed to be ready whenever the enemy struck. 

They had been there for four hours, but for Sylvain, it felt like forever. As much as he forced himself to not look in Felix’s direction, he couldn’t help himself. And every time he looked, a sting impaled his heart. He stood alone, like he had always done. Silver sword that shone in the sun, reflecting into his face. The heat of the sun was making itself evident, because Felix had left his position to walk near the trees; well, stomp to them. Every step he took was firm, harsh, Sylvain almost felt bad for the blades of grass that met the heel of his angry boots. Just like his steps, the grip on his sword was heated. Sylvain smiled. As far as Sylvain could gather, he was assigned no battalion. For what reason, he didn’t know, but at the end of the day, Felix worked better alone.

“Sir, everyone in this area is in position!” he heard near him. A soldier stood next to him, a hand on the hold of his sheathed sword told him he was one of the swordmasters that stood in the front lines. His heart ached for him, given that he would be one of the firsts to be victims of the carnage that was about to follow. 

“Good. And the rest of the,” Sylvain couldn’t finish, since the swordmaster spoke up again. 

“All ready. We are prepared for an attack from any laterals or roundabouts. The walls of the fortress are broad concrete, and there were no catapults on any of the enemy’s battalions.” 

“It would be better if we were ready for if they do have them.” Sylvain furrowed his brow. If this was the Empire, who knew what they were to throw at them; even more if this attack was being led by Hubert. 

“And we are, every corner of-”

The small report was cut off by the sound of trumpets coming from the enemy, their raid had started. Sylvain pointed the swordmaster to go back to his position before any casualties happened, an order that was followed in a near instant. The grip in his lance got tighter, as his other hand held firm the reigns of his horse, pulling them back just a little to stay solid stop it. He tried looking back to where he had left his gaze, but Felix was nowhere to be found. It left his mind for just a moment, he had enemies to take care of, and so he focused on that. It didn’t take long before the enemy reached the walls of the fortress, where he stood with his battalion. A few knights stood as a wall on the staircase. Being strong enough to resist the soldiers that attacked them, Sylvain couldn’t see exactly what was going on, the wall blocked the way. That was, until he saw a ball of fire go straight through the knight, and he was down; a mage. Sylvain stood his ground, and once they made it past the knights, Sylvain rode over really quick and took them out before they could take him out. Sylvain ignored the blood that burst out of the man’s neck and onto his hand, and went straight back to his position, in wait of any more enemy soldiers. Half of his battalion was gone, he should have accounted for the number of mages in the enemy ranks, but it was too late for that. 

Sylvain stayed in position, when his view drifted over to the three archers making their way to Ingrid. They would kill her if she didn’t notice them soon enough. Judging by the fact she was too busy fighting off a few wyvern riders, it was safe to say she wouldn’t notice them. He needed to get to her. He ordered his battalion to stay in position and defend their area as he rode down the stairs of the wall to her aid. 

His mind went blank, almost forgetting the fact that in the same battlefield, Felix stood in enemy lines. He went as fast as he could, hand strong on his silver lance as he got ready to help Ingrid. He almost lost control of his steed when it came to a halt. His confusion only lasted a second when Sylvain finally saw who stood in front of him. 

Felix. Sword trained on his hand. Pointed at Sylvain. 

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” his voice came through gritted teeth, it was luck that Sylvain could hear him in the first place. His eyes looked Felix up and down, he took in his steady stance. Their gazes connected, and Sylvain wished that the sliver of pain he saw wasn’t a product of his desperate imagination. He wasn’t seeing things. 

“Felix! How’s the Empire treating you?” Sylvain smiled, yet, the grip on his lance never faltered. He knew better than anyone than to doubt Felix. “I’m guessing good, because you’re looking lovely as ever.” 

“Flirting? At a moment like this!?” Felix didn’t take one second before he attacked. His attacks were strong, jabs and swipes. What took Sylvain off guard was that they weren’t aimed at him, but at his horse. He used his own lance to deflect any attack coming, using the length of it to his advantage and swiping the sword away, holding the reins back to pull his horse back. 

“Would you expect anything else from me, my dear?” Sylvain asked once he connected eyes with Sylvain once again. This time, he was at a distance in which if Felix attacked him, he would have more than enough time to react. 

“No.” Felix recovered quickly from Sylvain’s blocks, and held his stance firm once more. “You always were a helpless fool. Can’t even take this seriously, can you, Sylvain!?” 

“I’m not the one who betrayed their friends.” what Sylvain said must’ve struck a nerve, because as soon as the utterance of betrayal was mentioned, Felix charged once again. Sword high to attack the horse once again, Sylvain tried to block, but Felix has always been more agile. He slashed Sylvain’s horse, making it pull back. Sylvain almost fell from his horse, but pulled him back and ran in a circle, enough to pull away from Felix. He lunged, and this time, he attacked first. His own lance making a jab at Felix. Sylvain’s mistake was that he deliberately went for a place that wouldn’t make a mortal wound. No matter what ran through his head, he couldn’t bring himself to kill Felix. 

His lance barely graced Felix, and his thoughts started to think of anything but the battlefield. His thoughts were now of his private times with Felix. Fingers ghosting over skin, breath over lips, hands on the back of their necks as they pull each other closer, afraid to let go. How they trained together, and now there they stood, fighting to the death, as enemies. Sylvain gripped his lance tighter, his knuckles probably going white at that point, but he didn’t care. 

“I didn’t betray anyone.” He heard Felix speak, and he looked up. He didn’t look tired at all. “I don’t owe anyone anything, so don’t act like I do.” 

Felix didn’t move, he just held his ground. Sylvain was about to ask what did he do, when an arrow lodged himself on the arm that held the reins of the horse. He pulled back way too harsh, making his horse stand on his hind legs. Another arrow made his way to the same arm, and that’s when Sylvain lost full control of his horse. The events happened way too fast for Sylvain to recall, but the next thing he knew, he laid on the floor, looking up at his horse, who still stood on his hind legs. Felix came fast, and he killed the horse with two strikes of his swords. The now lifeless horse falling down on Sylvain’s legs. The pain Sylvain felt as soon as the heavy horse fell on his legs was excruciating, he couldn’t help the agonizing scream that found its way out of his throat. His hands legs go of the lance as he tried to push the horse away. 

The two arrows in his arm made it even more arduous for him to try and get free; still, he clawed away at the skin of the horse. He wasn’t sure if he was pulling of pushing anymore, but his mind was clouded. He was going to die. He was going to die. Both his legs were most likely broken and there he was, trapped under his horse, in the middle of a bloodied battlefield. Sylvain started screaming, as if it would help him regain his strength as he dig and ripped and scratch the horse. He probably wasn’t even trying to get out. It was useless. 

A shadow covered the sun hitting his face. Felix stood over him. In any other situation, Sylvain would’ve smiled. There came Felix, to save him once again. He would’ve received an earful when they got back to camp, but at least Felix had his back. Not today. That day, Felix was an enemy.

And Felix was going to kill him. 

“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” Sylvain stopped. His hands falling to his sides, accepting defeat. “It’s okay, I understand.” 

“Why didn’t you fight harder!? That was the most pitiful display of a fight I’ve ever seen in my life, Sylvain! Why-”

“I couldn’t,” Sylvain grimaced. The pain in his legs was becoming too much too bear. “I couldn’t bring myself to kill you. Not when you wear the face of the man that I love.” 

“This is not a game, Sylvain.” Felix looked at him with anger in his eyes. But Sylvain knew him better than anyone else. He could see the tears threatening to escape his lover’s eyes. It was the first time in his life he would say he liked seeing tears in those eyes. It meant he cares. 

“I know it’s not. So please, if I’m going to die today… Let it be by your hand, I’m… Things are not looking good for me anyway.” Sylvain reaches back to the horse crushing his legs, looking for something to hold on to. 

“You’re— I,” Felix’s hand started shaking, having to hold his sword with two hands. “Sylvain I can’t, I-”

“I’m not angry, I couldn’t be… I love you, Felix.” 

“How can you still love me!? Are you an idiot!?” Felix yelled at him, tears threatening to fall, yet they stayed in the frames of his eyes. 

“I just do. Now, hurry up, before people start looking.” 

Felix’s hands started shaking even more than before. He raised his sword, and before he could take anything back, he ran the sword through Sylvain’s neck. 

The strength with which he stabbed Sylvain had been so strong, it ran from to back and into the dirt in which Sylvain laid. Blood splattered up to Felix’s hands and face, hands still on the hilt as his entire body started shaking. He couldn’t let go of the hilt, knuckles going white as he looked at Sylvain’s now lifeless face, eyes still open in what Felix was to guess were the last traces of pain he felt before dying. The screams of battle behind him went numb as his vision went even cloudier with tears, eyes fixed on Sylvain. Tears threatened to fall, he kept them in. He wanted to let go of the sword. To take it out and go back to fighting, to seizing the stupid fortress for the empire. But a force, a magnetic pull, kept him close to Sylvain. He didn’t want to leave his body to rot with the other victims of the battle. Yet, who was he to wish anything for Sylvain when he had been the one to kill him. He had been the one that trapped him under the horse, and he had been the one to run the sword down his neck. Felix wasn’t worthy of desiring anything for Sylvain, not when he wasn’t worthy of standing near his body. “Fuck you.” he hissed. “Why did you make me love you!?”

Felix didn’t know how long he had been standing over Sylvain, because now I grind flew atop him, landing out of his field of view. He heard her agonizing scream when Sylvain died. Another thing he wouldn't be able to get out of his mind. “You’re heartless, Felix!” Ingrid stood behind him, the hooves of her pegasus clicked on the dirt they stood on. Felix could hear the raw anger in her voice, the way it started shaking, the pure unfiltered heartbreak. Felix dropped to his knees, hands still holding the hilt. It was the only thing connecting him to Sylvain. The stupid sword that he had run through his neck. “Sylvain was our friend… You! You were our friend! And there you stand-”

“If you’re going to do it, just do it!!” Felix yelled at her, his voice hoarse and breaking. “I deserve it! I’m your enemy! Just kill me!” 

“And you’re just going to accept it!?” Ingrid hissed. “You’re going to stand there and admit that you killed the man you had vowed to marry not a few years ago!?” Felix didn’t answer, his eyes fixated on Sylvain. Tears still pooling in his eyes. 

It didn’t take long before Felix felt a lance run through his chest. Ingrid had lunged with all her night with her lance before Felix could react, not knowing that Felix had no plans to stop looking at Sylvain. If he was to die, then the last thing Felix was to see, was Sylvain. The product of his stupid pride. The tears Felix had been holding on for Sylvain finally streamed down his face, as his body went limp on top of the lover he had just killed. 

His mind and last thoughts desperately hoping for an afterlife in which he could meet Sylvain again.

**Author's Note:**

> told y’all it was sad  
anyway blame my wife for requesting this y’all  
i’m just the vessel, the message has been delivered. 
> 
> kudos are appreciated! comments even more!!


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